Απόψε η καρδιά μου πονάει, επειδή σε θυμάμαι. Οι άνθρωποι τριγύρω είναι ξένοι κι εγώ δεν έχω βρει τον δικό μου.
Δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ, νοιώθω εξαντλημένος, έτσι είναι οι μέρες μου, έτσι είναι οι νύχτες μου. Η αναπνοή μου δεν έχει πνοή,
Τα βράδια είναι ατέλειωτα, ρίχνοντας το πέπλο τους πάνω σου, αφήνοντάς σε πάντα εδώ, Καθόλου απόσταση μεταξύ μας, Καθόλου χωρισμός.
Δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ, νοιώθω εξαντλημένος, έτσι είναι οι μέρες μου, έτσι είναι οι νύχτες μου. Η αναπνοή μου δεν έχει πνοή,
Αν σε συναντήσω, τότε θα πιστέψω. Τότε θα γελάσω. Δεν θα κλάψω ξανά.
The cold breeze was moving again in the icy month of December. The soul was surrounded by heart and heart itself surrounded by body ..a river of thoughts were moving above in mind. A communication or mis communication , the body was standing across the river side getting shower in chill moonlight. With eyes focused below inside river , he was able to hear a Sharp whisper in cold winter. A whisper of past which was now nowhere, but still was enough to prove that it was somewhere on the dimension of time. The mind
was using logic's and ready to suppress heart, using millions of weapons .weapons of thoughts..alone heart which was fighting alone .really just to protect the soul it contained.
And You can feel that, that You never thought in that moment, a sharp flash occurs in mind which brings you again at same point where you were just smiling. But this time when heart is struggling that smile does't comes alone. It brings a pair of tear in those enlightened eyes. Still searching something in the reflection of moonlight travelling back from the river of mind. That logic tries again and enforces more to repress the thoughts .thoughts which itself is a part of mind..mind now fights back to mind ..trying to finish itself, but minds nature is just like ..the more it fights ..the more it strengthens itself and that poor heart could't do anything..it just beats faster and more faster.
The cold breeze was making body numb..and this first moment heart spoke ..no fight no struggle..sending a message to mind..a message just to watch ..the heart was now audible to mind as well as to heart. It was like a link getting created a link starting from soul to heart till mind and further crossing the boundaries of countries and continent getting completed at other end. Yes it's ok the past was happier but the present just became mysterious with more place to search and explorer. Desire that resides in mind ..and could be felt from heart. Yes the cold breeze was still moving now on the upper part of skin..with it's cold sensation now touching the veins of heart , trying to squeeze it. Moon was still standing at same place. At same moment other breeze came more colder more faster and in the moonlight the body was still standing. Moon which was reflecting the sun at east positioning towards west must also be showering same light in vast existence from the land of sun till the home of Minerva, Athena , enlightening whole existence. Just at moment something happened with enlightenment of moonlight and vibration of cold breeze ..in the feeling of heart where mind had again traveled in reverse direction of time...reminding some eyes..and few drops dropped on the floor touching the feet of Mother earth....!!!
India is not just geography or history. It is not
only a nation, a country, a mere piece of land. It
is something more: it is a metaphor, poetry,
something invisible but very tangible. It is
vibrating with certain energy fields which no
other country can claim.
For almost ten thousand years, thousands of
people have reached to the ultimate explosion of
consciousness. Their vibration is still alive, their
impact is in the very air; you just need a certain
perceptivity, a certain capacity to receive the
invisible that surrounds this strange land.
It is strange because it has renounced everything
for a single search, the search for the truth. It has
not produced great philosophers - you will be
surprised to know it - no Plato, no Aristotle, no
Thomas Aquinas, no Kant, no Hegel, no Bradley,
no Bertrand Russell. The whole history of India
has not produced a single philosopher - and they
have been searching for truth!
Certainly their search was very different from
the search that has been done in other countries.
In other countries people were thinking about
truth; in India, people were not thinking about
truth - because how can you think about truth?
Either you know it, or you don't; thinking is
impossible, philosophy is impossible. It is
absolutely an absurd and futile exercise. It is just
like a blind man thinking about light - what can
he think? He may be a great genius, may be a
great logician - it is not going to help. Neither
logic is needed nor genius is needed; what is
needed is eyes to see.
Light can be seen but cannot be thought. Truth
can be seen, but cannot be thought; hence we
don't have a parallel word in India for
`philosophy'. The search for truth we call
darshan, and darshan means seeing.
Philosophy means thinking, and thinking is
circular - about and about, it never reaches to the
point of experiencing.
India is the only land in the whole world,
strangely, which has devoted all its talents in a
concentrated effort to see the truth and to be the
truth.
You cannot find a great scientist in the whole
history of India. It is not that there were not
talented people, it is not that there were not
geniuses. Mathematics was founded in India, but
it did not produce Albert Einstein. The whole
country, in a miraculous way, was not interested
in any objective research. To know the other has
not been the goal here, but to know oneself.
For ten thousand years millions of people
persistently making a single effort, sacrificing
everything for it - science, technological
development, riches - accepting poverty,
sickness, disease, death, but not dropping the
search at any cost... it has created a certain
noosphere, a certain ocean of vibrations around
you.
If you come here with a little bit of a meditative
mind, you will come in contact with it. If you
come here just as a tourist, you will miss it. You
will see the ruins, the palaces, the Taj Mahal, the
temples, Khajuraho, the Himalayas, but you will
not see India - you will have passed through
India without meeting it. It was everywhere, but
you were not sensitive, you were not receptive.
You will have come here to see something which
is not truly India but only its skeleton - not its
soul. And you will have photographs of its
skeleton and you will make albums of its
skeleton, and you will think that you have been
to India and you know India, and you are simply
deceiving yourself.
There is a spiritual part. Your cameras cannot
photograph it; your training, your education
cannot capture it.
You can go to any country, and you are perfectly
capable of meeting the people, the country, its
history, its past - in Germany, in Italy, in France,
in England. But you cannot do the same as far as
India is concerned. If you try to categorize it
with other countries, you have already missed
the point, because those countries don't have
that spiritual aura. They have not produced a
Gautam Buddha, a Mahaviraa, a Neminatha, an
Adinatha. They have not produced a Kabir, a
Farid, a Dadu. They have produced scientists,
they have produced poets, they have produced
great artists, they have produced painters, they
have produced all kinds of talented people. But
the mystic is India's monopoly; at least up to
now it has been so.
And the mystic is a totally different kind of
human being. He's not simply a genius, he is not
simply a great painter or a great poet - he is a
vehicle of the divine, a provocation, an invitation
for the divine. He opens the doors for the divine
to come in. And for thousands of years, millions
of people have opened the doors for the divine
to fill the atmosphere of this country. To me, that
atmosphere is the REAL India. But to know it,
you will have to be in a certain state of mind.
When you are meditating, trying to be silent,
you are allowing the real India to come in
contact with you. Yes, you are right; the way you
can find truth in this poor country you cannot
find anywhere else. It is utterly poor, and yet
spiritually it has such a rich heritage that if you
can open your eyes and see that heritage you
will be surprised. Perhaps this is the only
country which has been deeply concerned with
the evolution of consciousness and nothing else.
Every other country has been concerned with a
thousand other things. But this country has been
one-pointed, a single goal: how human
consciousness can be evolved to a point where it
meets with the divine; how to bring the human
and the divine closer.
And it is not a question of one person but
millions of people; not a question of a day or a
month or a year, but thousands of years.
Naturally, it has created a tremendous energy
field around the country. It is all over the place,
you just have to be ready.
It is not coincidental that whenever anybody is
thirsty for truth, suddenly he has become
interested in India, suddenly he has started
moving towards the East. And it is not only
today, it is as old as there are records.
Pythagoras, twenty-five centuries ago, came to
India in search of truth. Jesus Christ came to
India….
…And down the centuries, seekers have been
coming to this land from all over the world. The
country is poor, the country has nothing to offer,
but to those who are sensitive it is the richest
place on the earth. But the richness is of the
inner. This poor country can give you the
greatest treasure that is possible for human
beings.
The day I born when I met You , I avoided as I was scared of the attachments resulting in pain. But I waited and at end got convinced that you will be always with me and neglected the end. The end which is bound to happen. I feel like I am standing on the edge of end now..and your memories that I passed on the time still travelling with me. Can you remember the day It begin I had told you, I don't want to attach and you replied in your beauty and convinced me it never ends, Love never ends, Life never ends. I wanted to hold the time more stronger as stronger as my soul could permit, but the sand of time just kept on falling from the grip and I could not do anything except just watching on those fallen sand..which are now crystallized in the form of memory somewhere inside me.
Yes I have many questions to you thousands and millions and they prove me helpless, something like you want to do but can not and I see it I can not, but my urge was not to touch the sky. I just wanted to touch the life ..just to hold you life. Whenever the morning dew drops in orange sunlight of winter I remember you and at evening , I feel the separation of life from my soul. I wish it was like before but time does't allow it. Hey my life will I get you again..they say it's a circle , so I am waiting for that point of circle where I will be again near to you. And will pray that the life starts with my life. I am in bardo in small light of thoughts surrounded by vast darkness. I can't complain you for that, cause I don't know what is in your mind. But I still Love you life. You showed me the brightest moment existence can have..You showed me light although it's dark now..although darkness is now painful cause I have experienced light. Yes It's painful like darkness is ready to inhale my soul or more, but I am still Thankful to you cause I am not ignorant now. Even your one glimpse enlightened my heart.
I know I am still connected with you as there is no way of disconnection. But I Miss You and still greedy to have more glimpses of you, more brighter glimpses like thunders, or extremely desirably greedy like you shower on me like sunlight..brightest and stable for always. Can't you come back again? I know that could be against law of nature ..if we have life ..we do need to face fate of death. But they also say there is also something beyond time. Will you meet me beyond time? I am ready to wait and I am. I don't know which parts in time you liked or not. But can I say Please...I don't know what should I do ..but you can understand it's like a person desiring for life while being on death bed.
I don't see any way..I have tried and each time I get more tired. Now I just want to lay in your arms closing my eyes and feeling the peace of your bliss. I want to say more...much more that is not describable in words. But still from the broken heart from the greedy mind from the concious feeling of oneness I want to tell you again..I know life comes and goes ..and your going can force me in darkness..but not more than that..even in that darkness I say you that I said in your light ..You can go far..I just remain at same point..I can say same ..cause I feel same...that I Love You as I did at beggining so do I do at fate and will continue. Might be cause nature of consciousness is same.
Yours,
Conciousness
gwgw
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
But yeh..You feel it..when you are alone...you can sense both the downward moving loneliness as well the upward moving strength..somewhere flowing in both directions in your spinal bone. And complete existence is playing and just running on the dimenstion of time..the changes we can feel in emotions..different emotions just showing us the change of points of time.
When you feel to cry , when you want to cry for someone..and when you feel defeated..with not anymore hope...a strange should happen. Just pray that beyond time ..you get yourself..and that should happen...!!!
And that 8 year old child was just looking straight his back was touching one corner of wall. His eyes was dried up after crying and his face was not able to show any emotion at all. Blood was still clotting in his forearm and nose was bleeding. Laying at one side his legs were straight..looks like he was deciding where to go first at left or right in front of himself. Which body needs him most, which body needs his support most. Body of his father who was socially Muslim or body of his Mom who was socially Hindu..!!!
When eyes can not see and ears refuse to listen anything and when one can even not feel sensation on his skin.
8 years is less to grow for getting development ..but one instace one event made him grew. Just 1 hour before he was holding his father's hand and was looking at his Mother. He was just a kid then now he grew. He grew with sorrows in his eyes , he grew with a vision of burden , he grew with helplessnes in his heart.
And where should he try for support? And to whom? To them who are shouting name of Allah and destroying the peace? or to them who who are shouting name of Ram and burning all the streets.
How will that kid come out ? How will he shout for help? And to whom..? Killers of his life?
Wounded and half dead kid starts thinking and is lost in thoughts ..half fainted ..no hope..no love..no life.
Creator created and now we are destroying..let's finish it absalutely..let's proof He was wrong. Cause he was. He did a mistake cause he used different names or he himself was confused that what is he.
Kid wants to stand..thinking in his mind.." lets make this world more beautiful ..and why not ...these all are trying to make it..red is beautiful color let's make everything red. Lets give everyone peace..showing them way of death". " Cause it's dead world it has died already..long before... only dead can love dead and being a part of this dead world ..it needs contribution..it needs blood ..it needs death". Why not to show the creator that ..yes it was his mistake ..let us make him realize that he did the last mistake and noone else did any mistake after.
Suddenly he looked outside cause of shouting ..a young man cut hands of an 50 years old man. He got thrilled his heart stopped for a moment and then he smiled..he smiled looking above ..now how will he pray you. he became sad at other moment whispering " now how will he hold his stick to walk". Time stopped at that moment for him although he wished that time runs very fast. Mind was not able to understand " what is happening and why ". " Why the cheated me...why teach of love and he can see that nowhere instead they even destroyed and killed the source of love" he again looked at the body of man which was lying at certain distance..this time he wanted to shout and cry..but could't make it he was numb..his body now was showing no movement..just his eyes were blinking.
"What God is I even don't know that..does he likes war?" he again lost in thoughts " Does He hates love and hence they each hate other. Does he creates us..so that we can destroy ..he says other is devil and satan ..are we strong to fight against devil? If Yes..then why He says He is fighting against devil..if we are then where from He comes. Did't He tell these outsiders ..I am in all ..then why they are killing his part, if they love Him? Did't he tell them everything is his? Then why they are destroying his things? Is't it sin now.destroying his creation? Yeh..must be like this only ..it's not sin.cause they say ..they are killing sinners. Then what judgement will God do at judgment day or after death at judgement? Is't people themself are able to judge sins ..cause they are ..they are judging and they are punishing.I don't think one is judged two times for same sin. Can't we leave judgement onto Himself?"
Lost in himself he was looking outside at running crowd ...then looking in front of two bodies..he wanted to shout for help..but was also scared what if they hear him...sun was setting..evening was ready to hold light in it's arms...sunset was looking more red this day...voices were silent..he was scared now ..and wanted to shout ..he tried to shout for help..he tried to shout and suddenly ..heavier noise of bang thundered all dimentions..his heart which was already weaker n..now rejected to fight this shock..in a moment his eyelids stoped blinking..his hand fell on ground..his ears were no more able to detect any sound...still he was able to see..a small white light going far and more far from him ..there were no more thoughts ..there was no regret..there were no questions...no human..no God...a darkness and in next moment he drown in it.
Ceiling fan was still rotating..throwing wind below..sparrow which was sitting on roof ..now flew to return back to it's nest ...in dim light of evening.
Jaden was approaching his hostel room with a new thought with hope to live with different energy surrounding his soft skin. Magical music once again was reaching his ear. Yes that's what they call it " Magical Music". While passing through the corridor for hostel one can easily hear that soft music, every night coming from Room No. 135. Room No.135 is also famous among students there, for that mystical music as well as it's architecture. Room# 135 is actually not just a room but a big hall situated at the other corner of campus.
Generally students are not allowed to go there as the back wall of room touches the dense forest and is considered insecure. Hence is also separated from a 6 fee tall wall and watchman keeps their eyes every time, so that nothing unexpected happens and no one tries to go there.Just very senior professors can go there including Robert Smithson. A six feet tall, with broad chest and large glittering eyes behind spectacles, 45 years old head of department of music. Mr Smithson is known among students for his soft speaking and scientific way of teaching, that makes students very easy to understand , typical topics.He is respected much among his colleagues for his incredible achievements that he made for research in music and accoustic science. Music is just not entertainment for him, it's completely science. According to him " music is still undeveloped science which can result int miracles". Apart from few people no one else is allowed to go there.Few students also consider that room as haunted or suspicious , for others it's like abandoned room that they think is no more used. Different people has different perception. But one thing is sure that music makes the hall special. Some also think that music comes from forest but not hall.
Jaden was now more near to his hostel entry gate listening to the music and today the music was also supporting his loneliness.It felt to him like he is standing at a place surrounded by whole universe and there is nothing no living creature, no stars in sky, no source of light and he is just one ..alone in whole creation. A pair of tear fell on ground from his eyes and subconsciously his lips moved making a murmuring , vibrating sound making the name" Sofiee...". And suddenly her name was lost and became a part of the mysterious music.
Remembering the dream that he had at seabeach h wiped his eyes and entered his hostel room#45.It was late around 11'o clock at his watch. He laid at the soft comfy bed with blue pillow, closing his eyes hoping for a new day a new sun praying for more sunlight in his life which can show him that, he wants to see now.
Blue ocean was crying with the blowing wind making a shivering sound in that dark night. Existence was dark ..enough to inhale all the lights. There was no sign of life on the beach of dark blue ocean...surrounding was just representing the ultimate death of living cosmos. At the seashore..he was sitting ..peacefully lowering his head down..with a pair of tears in his eyes..lost in memories of past..and struggling with time, to force direction of consciousness in opposite to time.Ohh he was peaceful..but you know "peace can be overwhelming, as well as it can suck life out of blood". The same was Jaden, slow rain drop was falling on his arm and his head trying to erase his tear from his eyes providing a chillness in his body..to make him shiver..but rain..oh rain can not understand that his heart and soul is already shivering cause of chillness that he got inside.
Jaden started looking at ocean and it seemed to him , ocean wants to hold him ..and cuddle in it's arm to provide real peace to his child..ocean might be struggling to touch forehead of jaden and hence it's waves were flowing longer but were just able to touch his feet. But you know nature can feel and oceans , rivers , wind they also cry when they look a human crying..it feels like they just want to see a human smiling in and enjoying blisfulnes..cause nature is utmost strong..jaden is also his creation ..most beautiful creation that has been made ..and thus the wind was blowing harder as if wind got challenged cause his creation was sitting on it's earth's womb with crying tears in his eyes.
Suggenly a spark of thunder thundered in sky..directing jaden's mind in past ..withing a second it was dark again..more darker than before and jaden was lost in memory...with tearing eyes he was smiling..as if he had crossed all the barrier of time.." Jaden .. Jaden" " what happened love" Jaden asked Sofie. She looked at Jaden with her brown eyes with large sharp eyebrow looking mysterious above shining eyes. In black dress she was looking like princess of creator. She replied smiling and came near to Jaden, holding his hand provinding warmth to his fingers and melting the touch of her hand in his with loving heart.
It was Monday morning in the month of December cold wind was blowing , and Jaden was standing in the garden of his college campus. It was not normal college..a mystery college surrounded by mountain at one end and ocean at opposite.Architecture of campus is unique in world " the mystery multiversity " with large red beatiful bulding standing between it's famous garden " garden of angels " at east side and dense forest at west end. Student start their daily routine by running , meditating in first sunlight with rising of sun from ocean.
In evening very selected senior student are permitted to visit dense forest..visiting dense forest there is wish of every student..2000 students at campus they know it's really hard to achieve a level where they would be allowed to visit forest. Only most talented students can reach upto that level , to experiment advanced studies by directly experimenting into hidden mystery of forest. Still multiversity is unknown to world and has been kept unknown cause of their powerful knowledge.
At center of park Jaden was looking at the enter gate..so that he can see sofie sofie entering the park to join him. In blue dress ..she entered the gate .. and jaden started walking towards gate ..last 2 years he has been doing same , distance was large still as it was a large park, suddenly Jaden stopped as sofie was going in other direction..he thought she has something to do at college building hence she is going..Sofie shaked her hand with Chris and hugged him without looking anywhere and then went out from other gate.
Suddenly another thunder enlightened womb of earth and Jaden came back from this subconscious dream holding more tears in his eyes..that was the last time he met sofie..and no one knows where is she now. With more tears in eyes, wind was blowing more stronger, struggling to provide peace to his son.
It was more darker now inside and outside of Jaden , His body started becoming numb with heavy heart and pinching pain in soul ..Jaden started felling on the ground and it was the time when ocean was really able to touch forehead of his son with other wave ocean hugged Jaden.
Suddenly, a voice appeared in Jaden'e eyes a sound from sky...Jaden..Jaden..as if guardian angel was thundering all directions with her voice..." my son ..I can feel the pain that you are going through..it hurts me also when it hurts you...can't you see this ocean .this wind this earth..struggling to comfort you" ohh did't you feel these are my arms and hands...and can't you feel yourself as part of me...your body and soul is made up of soil..this wind always blows inside you whever you breath..same ocean is running inside your body...can't you feel yourself as part of these as you are made from these, you live cause of these and you again meet these all at end...you are my son your nature is blissfulness..." I will destroy all the reasons which ever can even try to hurt my most beautiful son" it hurts me when you you feel pain you are my son as well as my my own existence extended far more. " why do you feel yourself alone in darkness"..." ohhh look inside you and i am flowing in every cell of your body it's me only that you breath..it's me only that you eat..it's me only that you search in love..always inside most near to you.. knocking door of your conscious" . " Hold my hand and can't you feel i am also incomplete without you..as you are without me?"
" I am always with you..as I was always and its my destiny to be with you always." Why are you hurting me by hurting yourself...so listen I am going to tell you most famous secrets of existence
It was neither me nor you nor anything before beginning...it was oneness..just one blissfulness ..peace.
Suddenly desire came...and with desire that oneness started breaking ..n started getting divided in two..three and then many..with all divisions ..there was excitement..and we all started making different identities..and hence ego started appearing in our nature. " As you can see you can not exist without sea, wind, earth..similarly they can not exist without you ..cause you are pure form of consciousness . I realized and division stopped..but part that got scattered ..I am still waiting for them to get back..ohh it's so easy..but when i look above from earth .i find it so difficult for them to quit ego, desires and to melt again in oneness.
"Jaden you are as strong as whole universe is...no desire no feeling can touch you..cause that is not your nature ..that is your earning..open the fist...and see you have all wonders in you..and in every wonder you will find yourself.."being a part of me ..can't you feel you are strength in stronger...beauty in beautiful..light in sun..mass in earth" If i am spreaded everywhere..so you are..you are my son..but can't you see you are also me myself"
" Wake up look at the sky..I will hold your hand always and I never left your hand too..you have meaning purpose ..get up and as I am helping you help every particle to grow..collect them back.." Life is accident ..but is also opportunity..if you think you have lost something very precious than you are wrong..you can never loose cause you can even never gain a single thing that you never had. I will be guide for you beyond time ...look ahead and it's light everywhere waiting for you..a transmuted life is waiting near for you..with me you will find everything easy. And try to wipe out your tear..it may take time ..depending upon how much fast and how much intense you can feel me. I am your mother your guardian angel ..your undivided portion ." Jadedn wake up ....wake up.........
With next stream of ocean ..Jaden opened his eyes....he saw ocean wave going towards ocean..as if he was cuddled by ocean for longer time. He felt more energy..a strength ..to stand on his legs..with a power to fight against thougts which were pinching his soul. Standing on his legs..he looked as powerful as sky itself it. He faced towards red building of his college and started walking towards his hostel bulding at north south of building.
Finally Jaden reached that crossway. There were two large banyan tree on the crossway. He stoped there lost in thoughts directing his mind into past. He can still see Jaden and Sofie written on one of the banyan tree. Jden's eyes became numb and a pair drop of tear fell on his nose from his eye. He was stuck and his whole body was numb as if he want to fight against time. He wented to go more close to that tree in subconsious hope that he still can feel warmth of her in this cold blowing wind. His memory streched his awareness 2 years back..
"Look at this huge tree, Jaden"
"What is special in this, said Jaden" Looking into sofie's brown eyes.
She replied "It's so old scary and beautiful at the same time, I think it has been standing here for atleast 120 years,It would have seen so many things so many lifes,many misterious would be hidden in it".
Jaden noded his head looking into sofie's eyes.
He took a sharp stone and forced on bankyan truck wirting sofie and then jaden like a teenager boy who wants to see himself with the girl he likes at every places and at every time. And it was perfect afterall they had just finished their graduation a year back.
Sofie came near to him speechless and held his hand.
Janet was speechless too looking in her eyes as if they both were communicating through eyelids. Janet moved two steps ahead in response Sofie moved back as if she was not sure. Further there was no place to move back more as she her back was touching trunk of tree, Janet moved closer his face was so close to her that he could feel warmth of her breath. He was holding her palms gently and softer. Time had stopped for them as if they were cut of all other senses and lost in the moment. Looking in sofie's eyes who just closed Janet moved his lips more near to her.
Suddenly noise chirping of birds flying at a distance entered his ears pulling attension of his mind to present.
He wiped out his tears turned right to follow the crossway road as if there is much more distance he has to follow.
And he was walking across that dark valley. Fresh cold winter breeze was enough to to make his skin cold giving a sensation of chillness in mind.
Lost in thousands of thoughts He was looking at the uphill of mountain densed by forest. His face was shining with the white moonlight getting reflected from his face. Wearing faded jeans with blue shirt he looked like a part of sky is walking on the earth. With his slim and tall body he was reaching towards the cross way of the road which was linked with other road going to the uphills.His sharp lips were silent and above his pointed nose there was a strange expression in his big eyes. Like the eyes are lost somehwre and helping the mind to understand something.
In that silent valley of rare populated area Jaiden was moving to the crossway with large steps but slow speed.
So yes I am centered at the focus of thoughts,
And the awareness is oscillating to and fro on the dimension of time,
Oscillating and touching thousands of thoughts in both directions,
Peace is just an imagination or a mirage illusion.
Illusion of life illusion of reality,
Illusion of liberation of soul,
Wisdom seems like taking last breath,
And breath forcing itself to enter into body of wisdom.
No lightness, no darkness just stillness,
Stillness of eternity,
Surrounded and rotated and forced by thoughts,
Thoughts of compulsion, of being betrayed.
Hardness with loose functioning of mind,
Limited into boundaries of human capacity,
Forcing myself to the extreme of self will,
Leaving and surrendering to existence.
Surrendering the life, the emotions and struggles,
So hold my Hand ohh..existence..and fulfill your desire,
As everything is still and calm into you,
Circle never rotates for you..!!!
I am feeling glimpses of beauty and happiness of eternity while writing to you.
Don't know when were we separated may be at the begging of time. But I can still feel the the separation flowing through aura of conciousness. And even knowing that the separation is just illusion and in depth we are still connected. I can just feel that separation through the emptiness wavering inside
my soul. But still I have smile on my lips ..the eternal me still can feel the existence of your soul sear me. May that is why, on physical level I have desire
a cosmic desire to get merged with you and get one or complete or as it was just oneness.
Oh Love..is it me or you all over spreaded in all dimensions which I can image and which I can imagine not. I can feel the movment of our conciousness flowing on the river of time together. And it's so close that sometimes I even have dout that is there just me.
And I am assure that the time will also rich a point where once again all will get united I will again become a part of Your existence or saying a part could be wrong again oneness would be riched. It's misterious that sometimes I am saying I am separate and sometimes oneness. May be it's cause of something unknown which unknown as thoughts,mind, or few impurities in conciousnes or somewhere in existence. And I even know that there is no impurity cause there is no place to be how could is it possible since you are spreaded everywhere in this vast cosmos.
And it's a long time to see you a long journey of pain, greed, happiness, sadness, tears of happiness, tears of sadness, getting and feeling glimpses of your existence in moments , feeling like spring brigde, feeling like intense sunlight in winter. Those moments explain to myself I am still connected with you in deeper part of existence. And provides me warm sensation of peace of blissfulness.
I am sorry for the mistakes that I did knowingly and unknowingly. Mistake like
you are you are so shining and in attraction I said you that I want you and that also seems ugly to me is't that enslaving the beauty and insulting it. But on the other hand I even knew you can't be enslaved as it's your aura only making me free providing me liberty.
There are so many things to say again an attempt to capture unexplanable thing in the boundary of words.I want to say I love you and together I also don't like that sentence cause it uses " YOU" and using you for you again gives me a feeling of separation. And I have felt in glimpses it's neither you nor me it's just oneness. No separation no divition just unification or just an exitential truth of oneness. Miss you cause there is illusion of separation. Love You cause there is to be unification.
With lots of love. In Loveliness.
And the showering of pain in mind,
With thunders of desires,
Wheeling the subconsciousness
And reflecting the eternity inside soul..
Darkness surrounding the eyes,
Narrowing the focus in a thin line,
Oh at the moment mind sees,
merging of all dimensions in one.
Desires forcing in one direction,
At the other mind is opposing them,
Division of mind in different parts
They are integrating the darkness..
Darkness which is ultimate
which ever was and will be
so near to eyes,
Horrifying and thundering the soul
Let me wake up from this dream,
to feel the light on my skin,
And let me merge my consciousnesses,
In the depth of your soul to feel to free me from myself...!!!
There was a small break between two rings love
I saw the time freezed in that time,
Heart beat stoped and breath freezed,
Stillness entered in life and there was exitment a little happines of hope.
I saw the mind focused on one point,
At that time the thoughts got focused at one place,
I was just ready to hear the voice and reply,
Next moment I got other ring with same waiting
I love that silence between 2 rings,
That brings hope to focus on your voice
Oh the time betwen those rings,
It's like the soul is going to meet God.
It's like conciousness going to get mergd with cosmic conciousnes,
Leaving every sphere and aspect of cosmos,
Meeting the unsepared part again,
In joy,peace ,silence and blissfulnes.
The small moment sometimes show us the reality,
Reality that was ever and will be,
A pain of division and a desire of multiplication and merging
Oh that small moment sometimes shows whole cosmos.
When my eyes are closed,
They are fighting with me,
My thoughs have become my enemy.
Stop banging my mind,
with the sweetness of memory,
The lovely thouhts the ugly thougts,
I am tired,betrayed..let me be in peace.
I want to sleep,
Don't shout in my mind,
My nerves are week now,
My heart is evacuate.
Tell me a way to make things fine,
Help me give me your hand and raise me,
I am falling deeper and deeper in conciousnes,
Damn these thouts are shouting and crying, disturbing.
Tell me the mistake,
and show me atleast one way to hear your heart,
Treat me like human with heart and soul,
Send peace for me..i am scared thouts are killing me.
Help me fighting alone with them,
Stand near lets defeat it,
Do something they are becoming tumour in brain,
Smile and show me before they win.
You are the winner,
Don't let me loose too,
I can't see direction to walk,
thots oh..they are crawling in body.
From mind to feet,
They are hitting heart,
Banging my soul,
Sqeezing my peace.
Separating me fro myself,
In two three or hundread,
Is it the end or begenning,
Of a life without light.
If it's a curse by you,
I do accept this too,
Cause it's yours,
Atleast smile now for acceptence.
Thougts,thougs,thougts..killing me every moment...!!
Fallen into ocean of tears,
Can You hold me and support,
to raise and give strength to soul,
Can You again touch my lips to shine the eyes.
The world is running by me faster,
And my body is numb at the centre,
Focused on the sky,
like searching your image on clouds.
Show me again the gentle smile on your face,
and you had promise never to cry,
so smile for the moments we had,
when the soul was more stronger the body.
And wish You were here In the darkness of night In the brightness of light Wish You were here
In valley between moutains with the glitter of moonligh with the cold wind touching the skin and the moon shying looking into your eyes
In great silence of eternity when the soul looking for it's destiny In th darkness of sound wish you were here.. to whisper in my ears..
In the coldness where lips are vibrating and hands are numb and the life seems like death wish you were there to hold the hand and give warmth
In deep darkness of dream where light never enters where it's just shadow of darkness, wish you were there to show me light from your eyes.
There is no sense of smell like nature stoped creating smell just breath but no smell wish you were there to kiss my lips n give the fragrance of your breath
wish you were here where the mind stop thinkin and no imagination works and life is running meaningless to show me beauty of your face wish you were there
And now I am closing my eyes in deep silence with the glimpse of coldness over my skin ohh..you are here.. a part of my eternity.. and it's shining like many sun.......................
The body dies but the legend never.They just visit this planet and enhance the humanity with new arts and new creations.And one out of few legends becomes the king. Music is meditation.It adds something special in human being .Among 64 arts described in Indian Phylosophy,music is at the top.And there are few who really reach at the top in hierachachy of this art.,Michael Jackson was that person who really reached the top stair of this art. Let us remember that glittering soul who left us on 25th june 09 and through his music and dance He became immortal in our hearts. King of pop appeared on earth on aug 29,1958.He made his debut in 1964.And after that He enhanced the world with soul touching musics,like of his album Thriller,Off the wall ,Dangerous and History.He made multiple guiness world records and was 13 times Grammy award winner.But the greatest award he got was the position of his in the heart of millions of his fans. He had capability to make public dance when he dances.As we could see in his live performances.”At the stage a shining star lusturing many of his fans with music and glittering their heart by his dance.And at the other end his fans trying to follow his steps.”He added many new steps in dance like moon walk and Robot . Second life is also very much affected by the incident that happened on 25th june.Everyone in SL clubs got shocked and started talking about the king of pop after getting the news of his fate.People are requesting DJ’s to play his songs.So that they can fill the emptiness of their eternity that occurred after loosing Michael Jackson by pouring the nector of his music in their ear.An American club in SL organized a special event after his death to give tribute and respect to his soul,who has become immortal in the hearts of his fans through his music. World is missing the king of pop.Everyone is expressing the sadness in their own words.Words can change but the meaning behind those words for every person is same.everyone is missing him so much. Humanity just lost his body but the art and the music he left behind will always be remembered and enjoyed.He will still inspire many minds and many would get enlightened with his creations. “The death of Michael Jackson has got to be the saddest thing to have happened since the passing of Bernie Mac.Those two are used in the same sentence because Bernie was a King of comedy and Michael was the King of Pop.Michael was an amazing performer and an inspirational writer.His music was just awesome.He did break down barriers.His moon walk will be embedded in hearts forever.What a sad tragic end to a wonderful human.Rest in peace King of Pop .You are loved every day and will be missed forever.”
Since the time our human race has begin. Man has tried to understand Love.Phylosophies came and went, Casanovas took birth and died, Prince and princesses fought for it to either end up and die empty handed or feel the beauty of the heaven living in love. But what so ever …Love would never be defined or explained…it would can and will only be felt.
As the alchemists said” Everything is me” so Love and love in SL can not be two different things no matter how hard we might try to make it so. And it’s a good idea to consider it one…gives us a good feeling coz anyway every moment and bit-by-bit we are continuously trying to make SL as realistic as possible.
SL or let me say “SL love”. Some times seems far more beautiful than RL love.
We have walked through the endless lands of SL as singles with wind blowing and bringing with itself the hope of a partner waiting for us, who would bring in the contentment, happiness and a real SL life for us.
A partner who would without a moment’s pause loves us and takes us to the heavens alive.
And as the Pagans say “Everything is possible when you are in love” and then as if to. demonstrate- Rate it we create; we create and bring to life the most romantic places world has ever seen in real life.
And like this love comes and happens to even those people for the very first time.
The grass is at it’s best of the green shades and the most beautiful butterflies gather around and flutter between the two pair of eyes fixed on sticking to each..Red hearts flying all over,and the cupid does not have to be around to make them fall in love…their souls are already.. immersed…in the deep blue ocean like eyes full of love. When a single hug. Between the cloud of kisses says it all and u know the heart knows that it has found it’s soul mate.
But the mind needs a testification .The heart beats faster and confirms the love being real …but its mind’s intensity that overpowers it and asks for a proof. Because the mind is scared of pain, loss and emotional crash…it wants to own the person in front of it and needs a commitment. The mind has heard and seen the stories around having a sad endings so it demands a commitment..
But when the two hearts are bound by ‘agape’ which is the highest form of love, they are scared of no test..No proof can shake..Or shatter them.
The hearts want themselves to be consumed and owned completely by each other. Love is such strength that the hearts are no more scared of getting destroyed. And it’s than the marriage comes in.
The long wished and imagined dreams of the mind gets connected with the heart and by the time marriage ceremony is over the heart is so overwhelmed that the eyes swim and the laughter is endless.
And that’s how the SL marriage is as real as one can take any marriage in real life.
The responsibility flows in and now with every circle of sun round the clock the heart wakes up and goes to sleep providing eyes with the most beautiful views and dreams they had ever witnessed.
There are other moments, which make it bitter, but bitterness makes the sweet moments sweeter.
And as the marriage moves on we tend to hold a lot and gradually we being tending to grab and capture. But love is like a spring breeze. It’s cool and refreshing. But we feel it only till the time our palms are open, fingers loose, not trying to grab or grip anything as soon as the fingers close upon our palms and we try to grab hold of the spring breeze we find ourselves standing empty handed and the heat of our own wasteful attempts turn on to our palms. So we need to keep our hands loose and ungripping in a relationship in order to still feel the love, which is not very different from the spring breeze. But failing to do so we tend to increase the heat to such an extent sometimes that we are certain to loose it all and witness the death of our dreams and then the heart suffers eyes dry up within days or in hours but the heart cries no friend seems to be healing the wounds that go lost love leave our hearts with.
We must therefore understand that love is like a spring breeze. It’s beautiful till the time our hands are open to feel it but is gone as soon as we fold our fingers. The spring breeze comes and goes and so does the love. But love can be made to stay forever if we just learn to keep our hands open. But we fail to do so all of us! At least once.
And then the heart suffers it faces loneliness it screams it cannot handle what it has taken. It has seen what no heart in the world would want but the conditions and the mind demands it.
The heart faces a Divorce.
The day human mind would understand that the spring breeze could be felt only till the time our fists are open everything will be all right. But till that time hearts will keep on trying to go close to the soul of the universe via love and marriages would remain to be compulsory and necessary, Divorce will keep on flowing.
And like it the prosperity of the heart to search for love, it will again help you move on.
And till the time the second stage would come into existence under the command of the mind the third stage would be inevitable.
